Straight out of high school I knew that the man I had met was going to be the man of my dreams. Although he was 6 years older then me I was comfortable know that his maturity was enough to take care of me . This had been my first real relationship. I hadn’t dated many guys and didn’t know what it meant to be a girlfriend. He took me out on dates and we had a ball. Little did I know that this relationship would shape how I would see men and relationships the rest of my life.
He was fairly calm. He had a great sense of humor. He was already a dad and was a good father to his son, from what I saw. After high school I had got accepted to Hampton University and was extremely excited and I thought he was too. I had about a month break before going right into college so I decided to use that break to spend time with my boyfriend. Little by little I started to see that he was always upset when I would talk about leaving to college so I just started to leave that piece out.
Time had come for me to ship off to college and I was excited he seemed to be happy for me to. I went there for a few weeks and time had come where we were allowed to leave off campus for visits. He picked me up one night and we went for a drive he asked me how did I enjoy college and I was going on and on abut how fun it was all the people I met and etc. As I was talking he would grip the steering wheel tighter and tighter, his face was getting red, and he kept mashing the accelerator in the car. I asked him what was wrong and he started yelling at the top of his lungs, spit coming out of his mouth. I was scared and completely in shock. At this point I asked him to please take me back to campus. No sooner did I turn my head away he punched me in the face as if a man were to punch another man. I remember being in complete shock, crying and bleeding. I brung in the car with me from college my cds and favorite teddy bear he grabbed all of them and threw them out the window. I had stopped talking in fear that I would get hit again. At this point he pulled into a mall parking lot so he could go shopping or something. I REFUSED to get out of the car. I was swollen in the face and bloody. When I told him that I was NOT getting out he opened the passenger car and pulled me by the hair out the car.
As we walked through the mall I could see the glares from people on me. In my head I was screaming , “Help me please”. Can you believe all I received was stares and whispers. What was wrong with society?! People would rather talk and stare then step in and intervene!
To shorten the story he returned me to college. I soon after quit college and at his request we got a house together and worked and lived together. The abuse got worse. I was punched , choked, hit with objects, and locked in my room from weeks at a time. I was treated like an animal.
The last fit of abuse was my sure sign that I had to leave. We had gotten into an argument before he had to run off to work. He grabbed my coat and tied it tight around my head. It was at this point that I realized he was trying to kill me. I was suffocating and losing consciousness, I could feel my body going numb, and it was in the moment that I could feel as if my spirit was leaving my body. I was thinking this is it, I’m going to die. I called myself saying my last prayer “Dear God if you let me live I will leave” As soon as I blacked out he ran back in and untied the coat from around my head. As I slowly gained my feeling back in my legs and arms I got up called my friend at the time to come save me while he was at work. I call it the grat escape.
Ladies this abusive relationship shaped how I viewed relationships. It had formed my views on relationships for a long time coming. It is now 14 years later and I am just learning how to love, trust , a feel again. Don’t let one persons actions shape and control your life.
Hello My name is Rajsheda and I am a domestic violence survivor, I am now because of my past a public speaker, owner of a successful charity organization, a co-author of an upcoming book and a motivator for women all over the world. Its your choice on how you shape your life from the past. Take that FIRST STEP, #youhavetoleave, let your test be your testimony , go from victim to victorious. Live life,Love Life and know that you deserve much better then the situation you are currently in.